Emotions are For Everyone, but I Wish They Weren't

Right now I'm feeling a mixture of so many emotions I don't know how to act, think, or how to even describe them. I hate how girls are suppose to be all "lets talk about our feelings" I can't do that. Sometimes I want to and then I realize I don't even know what the hell I'm feeling, how am I suppose to tell them then? If I was a guy if one of my friends ask me what is wrong and I could just say "Fuck it all" punch a wall, and then the next day we could laugh about it. But no I'm suppose to cry, and I do succeed at crying. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, I cry because I hate myself, I cry because I hate where I live, I cry because I should be grateful, I cry because someone woke me up early, I CRY OVER FUCKING EVERYTHING! Yet everyone thinks I'm fine, and if they don't they are choosing to ignore it. Last time I was asked how I was was Monday by a teacher, made me almost feel important for a moment, but I'm just a small speck in this huge world.