No More Average, Just Invisible.

Don't you hate how one little event can ruin your whole daily plan? So usually I skip breakfast and lunch, then eat as little as possible at dinner. Why do I do this? Because it's the only meal my parents are home for, therefore it is the only time they make sure I'm eating "properly." I expected today to be the same, but my dad is a farmer so his schedule is as flexible as they come. This allowed him to come home and cook us hamburgers, I can't remember the last time I ate a hamburger but I'm sure I regretted it and hated myself forever afterwords. Well I wasn't going to let my plan be ruined that easily, so I waited till my dad went back outside and feed the hamburger to my dogs. So I got out of day eating  697 calories, not bad but not good either. In fact that's too many. But enough about food and self-pity, I also practiced my guitar today. I think I finally have the rift down that my teacher wanted me to learn, but I still have a lot of work before I perfect my chords. The thing about the guitar is that I only practice it alone. Recently everything I've been doing, I've either been doing alone or wanted to be doing alone. I'm isolating myself and that kind of scares me. I never text my friends or talk to them outside of school, I hate when my parents get home, and the sounds of my brothers voices sometimes make me want to punch something. I use to get so depressed when I couldn't talk to anyone, now everyone is giving me opportunities and I just want to be alone. Maybe I'm just trying to find myself, maybe I'm sick of being defined by the people around me. To be honest I don't know who I am, or what I want. I just want to be left alone and figure myself out. Oh and to stop being bugged about my weight loss, that would be nice too.