On a lighter note, I've developed a major girl crush on Sasha Pivovarova
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Days Where My Sense Makes None
So today I was in a good mood, I mean why shouldn't I have been. Richard's surprise party is tomorrow and my mom is taking me shopping Sunday, plus my homework is done so I don't have to worry about that. But I bummed out today, then decided to count the amount of calories I've had today (I gave up calorie counting when school started so I could concentrate on my homework). 687 calories, and I immediately thought crap I'm going to go over 800 today, since I always eat dinner. I cooked dinner and I cooked hashbrowns one of my favorite foods ever, also one of the greasiest foods ever. Well I actually wasn't too upset about going over my limit, I mean I know I had at least burned off 300 calories, until I went outside. Every night on the weekend I go outside at night sit on our old swing and listen to music. It is the only time I can clear my head, think, and be truly happy. Well tonight I was out there and all of a sudden I though about how I have never learned to eat healthy. Before EDNOS I had BED, which made me realize if I ever recovered I would probably become overweight. This thought scared me and actually made me cry. I just want to know how to eat healthy because this binge restrict cycle obviously doesn't work.
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You should look into reading the book "Intuitive eating" if you think you may be ready for the first step of recovery. It teaches you how to eat healthily and, well, intuitively so eating becomes second nature instead of this thing you have to obsess over all the time. I read the book but I haven't put it to practice yet. It's not easy getting over an eating disorder.
ReplyDeleteI too had BED but it graduated to bulimia and now I'm just all fucked up. =/