@Vampire Thank you, your comment really picked me up and yes all the photos I post are of me.
The last few days have been hell toned down. It's like if I went to hell for gluttony, my eternal suffering wouldn't be as bad as someone in hell for murder but still it would be suffering. So I made a huge mistake at homecoming and threw myself at some loser of a guy because of how upset I was that I didn't have a date, so now I have this guy thinking we are going out. And I just want him to go away, he is annoying and thinks he is better then everyone else. Right now I can avoid him but after Christmas he is transferring to my school, and I know by then I'll have to fix this but I keep hoping if I just ignore the whole situation it will go away. I wish I was mean so I could just tell him to fuck off, and not care about his feelings.
Also I've been in a binge crazy mode, and I have no idea why. Usually I have at least some control over myself but recently food has been my drug. I don't know what it is about October that makes me want sweets, I wish I could get apples when I went trick or treating instead.
As off Sunday I'm no longer cut free, I don't know why I cut, all I know is I did and it was the deepest I ever have. I don't think I can be happy being happy, I mean when I'm depressed I feel better about life then when I'm happy, just shows how fucked up I am.
Hope you all have your lives a little more figured out then me.
No comments:
Post a Comment