Not the Worst Thanksgiving Ever (But Certainly Not the Best)

Well first off let me tell you that my mom has been making my life a living hell the last few days. Ever since I faked sick the war has been on between her and I. So this morning when we were actually talking like human being, I felt relived. I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade, which I do ever year, it is honestly my favorite part of this senseless holiday. Then we left her house to go to my dads, then we went to my grandma's. And when I heard that two of my aunts weren't coming this year I though there wasn't going to be that many people there but I was mistaken. My second cousins who are around my age were there, but I always hate hanging with them because they are so close and I feel like an outsider. Everyone had to remark on my half empty plate of food, which was terrible. And then there was the boring awkward after lunch conversions, and mom manged to tell everyone that I was hell on earth and everything I do wrong. It really upsets me...... But then after hanging with my second cousins awhile we went home. Mom wanted me to go Black Friday shopping with her and grandma but I need some alone time, which upsets mom because I always say how I want out of the house, maybe I should just start saying out of the family. Mom also caught me jogging in place tonight. Luckily she somehow managed not to make a big deal out of the fact that I was "burning calories." Today is also my brothers tenth birthday, he spent it parked in front of the wii. Haha he hasn't even moved to get a piece of his cake yet.  Actually no one in my family has.

God I hate my mom she needs to stay out of my fucking business. I want to cut so bad right now, but I can't because she took away my knife and my pills and my tape measure. She was just reading over my shoulder and saw the name of my blog. She made it out to be some kind of joke.She never considers that something that seems so stupid to her may be important to me.  She isn't trying to protect me, she is just trying to get me out of her house without me doing anything to bad so she doesn't look like a bad mother. My life sucks right now. School is hell and home is worse then hell. I feel like an outsider among my friends and I am an outsider to my family.