There is a girl on PT complaining about how her teachers are concerned about her weight loss. This makes me feel so purposeless. I know my English teacher saw me skip lunch at least twice, so did my business teacher. I'm sure all of my teachers have seem the cuts on my arms and heard about me trying to commit suicide last year, but I've never gotten any sort of concern out of them. One of my friends told one of my teachers about me cutting and still nothing. The word just gets passed on to my parents because I'm their problem not my schools. I'm apparently not worth getting concerned about. People could give a shit less about what I do as long as I say I'm fine.
Also I try to talk to my "friends" but whenever I'm having issues they either get real uncomfortable and quite or just say "I love you" like that will fix my problem. But you know if I did that when they were having problems they would talk about what a bitch I am.
Then there is my parents. I really don't think they think I have any real problems. That everytime i get depressed I'm just "overreacting" or "doing it for attention. Either that or they think that I can't be helped and that they have wasted to much time trying to. Basically I have issues trusting people and really believing that they will be there for me when I need them, and then I see all these girls on PT complaining about their friends/parents/significant others being concerned about them, and it makes me want to die because I don't have that and I'm starting to think I never will.
you will have that...
ReplyDeleteif the girls on PT are making you feel worse maybe that's not the best place for you... or just try to talk to girls who arent talking about that kind of thing.
people care about you, they do, they just dont understand. its a delicate situation and not something that many people have experienced or gone through (themselves or with others).
if you ever want to talk about anything, im here for you... i promise. i have the same problem with trusting people and believing theyll be there for me, but i have no problem being there for everyone else. seriously though, i will always respond. i have my email and other contact info on my blog :)
i hope you feel better hun! i am sorry to hear things are rough right now
I never had teachers voice concern for me either. My family only says something when I attempt suicide or cut. Other than that, I'm left alone.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel worthless because you aren't. I wouldn't read your blog if I thought you were worthless. I wouldn't take the time to comment if I thought you were worthless. I really hope you feel better.