Saturday, January 22, 2011

It's Scary, Just Scary

On prettythin tonight there has been two suicide post from members that are pretty active. Both of them were asking for help but still. There has been so many suicide post on there that it really scares me and I want to help but I feel so helpless. Plus most of the time I can't even read the actually post because it triggers me and I'm in too fragile of a state to be trigger. And right now I really have nothing to live for so prettythin is my life. I can't imagine losing a member. I feel so helpless and worthless in these situations because really really I am, we all are. We can say whatever we want but if someone is that unhappy, they aren't going to be reasoned with. I promised myself that if I did ever commit suicide I wouldn't post anything online about it because I wouldn't want people to worry. I don't think I'm suicidal now but yesterday I realized I wouldn't care if I died. I can't imagine my future anymore, that's scary. I don't care about anything anymore. I still get hurt, I still feel and I still love but in the end I don't care about myself.

3 comments:

  1. I agree...it scares me when I see a suicide post for those reasons...I feel like I'm not of ANY help whatsoever because I'm crap at talking to people and not only that, I wonder what would happen if I was in their place and succeeding...gahh...my mind's starting to get everywhere now.

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  2. I wasn't on last night, but I've seen posts like that before. I've even posted ones asking for help. I agree that it is scary. You don't know what to do or say to make them feel better. I can totally relate to this post. I'm like you though. I wouldn't post online if I was going to kill myself. I would just say good-bye and never come back.

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  3. you know I'm always here for you.

    (I just read your entire bloggggg. haha, you're gonna be explaining to my teacher why my essay hasn't been done. ok?!?!)

    xxx

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